chatter from the Library Monkey

if only

If only I could do what I need to do…I’d be a genius. I wanted to write a fable this weekend, but slouched through that. Instead I wrote a “Christmas Letter” see below ***.

The letter came about at lunch on Friday. The nurse was mentioning how people send Christmas letters that are suppose to update the family and friends, but really turn into bragging letters. I think this on many levels. My friends will send pictures of their kids, which is okay — if I know the kid. But they seldom send pictures of themselves, which I do know. So I thought it would be fun to write her one. I think I will also send it to some other friends. Maybe anonymously so they can wonder who ‘PeeDee’ is.

It hasn’t snowed much yet, which might mean a snowday tomorrow — depending on when it starts. We are suppose to get about a foot. I guess it depends on where you check. I think we will have school, two other places had varied predictions.

The bad news besides the not writing, I played with some software, but didn’t accomplish anything. I did by some xmas gifts through e-bay. Now I hope it arrives on time.

I’m keeping it kind of cool here, it is an incentive to exercise… I have research some on the internet. One of my next projects is to

o geeze, it’s after midnight already.

Gratitude (3)

 ***

Dear     

 Please excuse this holiday letter, I have had to write it in lieu of calling you, like I would love to do, but we don't have a phone.

Our phone service has been turned off, which I don't blame them, since we had not payed the bill for six months — ever since Jim lost his job. It was all a misunderstanding. You see his boss was not very accepting or understanding of Jim's illness. I am sure, if you were at the family reunion two years ago, you know that Jim suffers from alcoholism. (If you are wondering: his eyebrows have grown back. And if you weren't at the reunion, you should know the loss of his facial hair was not because of his disease, but the gas grill accident. Only Johnny Walker knows why he used lighter fluid on a gas grill. At the ER they told us his breath only exasperated the flames.)

His boss told him that he could no longer take his medicine at work. Since Jim is self-diagnosed, he couldn't get a doctor to argue his case. We went to WebMD and were assured that he is an Alcoholic. Either way, the narrow-minded boss would not let Jim drink the vodka medicine he kept in his thermos. Can you believe that?

So anyhow Jim lost his job as an air traffic controller — a job he has had ever since Reagan fired those union troublemakers in 1981. He also lost all his benefits including his retirement that he was only five years from being vested in. Other than that he is doing well, in fact he is on the couch, watching rastling and smiling as I write this.

Speaking of illness, our youngest (hard to believe Flower is already 15) had a mild infection. If it wasn't for bad luck we would have none at all. We thought she was acting kind of withdrawn and sullen, but being a teenager we just thought it was hormones.

I feel kind of foolish writing this, but for a while I just thought it was part of science project she was doing. Her teacher has all the kids working on a 'green science fair.' When I heard her talking to her lab partner, Dodger, about Chlamydia, I thought she was researching butterflies.

Fortunately Dodger has been very helpful in this endeavor. He even took Flower to the doctors. (That is when I found out he wasn't her lab partner, but actually the custodian at her school. I can't believe how upstanding and helpful that 25-year-old has been.) To make her feel better he even let the clinic inject him with the antibiotics so she wouldn't have to go through this alone.

I guess he felt a bit guilty about the situation. Because it was a bacteria infection, he thought it might have been something she got from riding on the back of his motorcycle. Believe you me, I was pretty upset about this motorcycle riding, that is until Flower explained. She asked me if I prefer her walking home at 3 a.m. In that case I guess it is okay she got a little infection. Better safe than sorry.

Anyhow, I will be so glad when 'puss' is not a topic at our dinner table.

Fortunately I am very lucky to have that affectionate daughter of mine. She is very healthy. A lots of parents are worrying about bulimia and anorexia with their daughters, especially after an infection, but she has actually been putting on weight since the visit to the clinic. She is so healthy she has a glow about her.

Since we have been in a bit of a money crunch we were wondering if our oldest, Gunner, would be able to return to college. Especially considering it is his last year, my how the past 10 years have flown by. Well we didn't have to worry, because Gunner is quite the entrepreneur. He used his chemistry skills and started some kind of lab in the trailer he lives in. It is a little confusing so I won't go into it here, but oddly enough it isn't just his science skills, he also using some arithmetic and he is calling it a Math Lab. Why those other college students would pay him so much for what he produces in a Math Lab I will never know. Call it the folly of youth.

Illness must have hit Gunner too, when he left after Thanksgiving I noticed all our Sudafed was gone.

Myself, and I don't like to brag (I save the bragging for my kids ), I am doing quite well. I remodeled the basement. I wanted to be done with that lead-based paint, so I spent the summer sanding it off. It was a good thing too, because we now have the house for sale and we don't have to sign a disclaimer about the paint.

I am going to end here, but I have two requests. If anyone is going to a doctor in the next month or so could you ask them if there is a virus going around that makes it painful to urinate. We no longer have health insurance, or I wouldn't ask. It makes me nervous not having that benefit because I have been so clumsy lately.

The second request is to say a prayer for Fender (our former middle son). The 'lord' took him and he is gone from us. He became a mormon last February and we no longer speak to him. And if you see that infidel, please tell him he is the biggest disappointment his mother has ever known.

Sincerely,