chatter from the Library Monkey

the dream life

Now that I am sleeping more, I have a better ablity of remember my dreams. I think the reasoning is two-fold. Part is just that I am sleeping more and perhaps dreaming more. the other reason would be I am not awoken (by a clock radio), but wake up — usually with a dream on my mind.

I think I will be packing and leaving around 10 p.m.

I just backed up the computer. I forget if I mentioned it, but I bought a clearance hard drive from Office Depot two nights ago. I almost didn’t get it. It was marked down to $60 and my friend had a coupon for $10 and if you return ink cartridges you got other discounts. I got up to the register and the cashier pointed out they didn’t accept the kinds of cartridges that I had. Then was told my coupon wasn’t for ‘technology.’ Since the coupon was given me (like the cartridges) at the last minute I was clueless. (This I should have learned by now, from shopping with my friend, is often the case.) At that point I said ‘no’ to the hard drive.

But I got to thinking that I have wanted to get something I can use OSX’s time machine (a feature of Leopard). I had looked on line and found one for $110 with 320 gigs of memory that the network guy recommended, but I am pretty sure that 160 is enough and I save $50. Regardless, it is working. Also I am not sure how much I really need a back up. Perhaps more than I want to believe, but less than I think.

This post is a little flipped. I put my dream at the bottom, but wrote that earlier. I am tired and it isn’t even noon. That is what happens when you cut down to 8 hours of sleep from 10.

Maybe I can spin over to the library and come back for a nap. Since I want to drive home at night, a nap is important.

I have to pack and I would guess, of my non-gift stuff, I have only used about one third of what I brought. I brought five shirts, bought one and only wore three. I did wear both pairs of pants. I guess I have to be somewhat prepared. Like I only wore half of my underwear, but did laundry so they weren’t needed, but if the washing machine wasn’t working.

I was trying to explain to my friend how much I think her nieces are different when they are traveling more as a group. There were four of the five girls with us at the movies. We went for coffee afterwards and they were kind of comical. I think because my friend and I were there they expected us to make all decisions for them. In fact the oldest girl said: “You’re the adults.” I think since it was kind of a snack situation it made it all the more difficult.

It became apparent it was best to share a meal, but since the meal was made from choosing two items from a list of 12, it was made even more complicated. The friend and I were just having coffee.

Being younger they tend to take things more literally. Like I told them their aunt and I were not eating because we were going out to eat in a little bit. Well it was out for us since it was at my friends Mom. There was some hesitation because I think they thought they had a chance to go out to eat with grandma. Which means a paid dinner.

I found the funniest part was when the older — and a really bight girl asked how to spell something. I think the word was like ‘cough.’ At first I thought it was to trick the others to see how badly they would spell it, but then it turned out she couldn’t remember. Not one of her more lucid moments. This came on the heels of trying to explain to the the second oldest (of the group) how you would know that the beggar lady was the leading guys wife and he didn’t know it. I think it is because she doesn’t understand we didn’t know 100 percent, but had a premonition.

Second oldest just lived in the moment and third oldest and I were thinking —- “Hmmm, I wonder who the beggar lady could be.

I think it is interesting because I try to do this with the younger kids when I read a story. Like in the book “The Secret of the Silver Key,” we wonder what the key could go to. Or why would the author bring up all those items in the antique shop. Or even analyzing how the end of each chapter the mouse is in the library doing some research.

Dreamt I was reading poems at Brewed Awakening last night.

It was a fluctuating dream about reading poems, but seemed to be a love dream to my computer in an obtuse way (I know that is odd). First I was there looking at the list of readers and events. Then I booked myself to read, but that wasn’t enough, because I also booked my self to read a ‘practice reading.’ Then it wasn’t clear if I was reading the main reading or the practice reading.

And at the end a couple things happened — I think I woke up and went back to the dream. All things seemed to be happening at once. One thing was when I was reading ‘practice’ the place had hired a couple from my home town to play music, which annoyed me because I had my own sound system and was playing this abstact music piece that I had made with my computer. It turned out htat wasn’t so bad because whatever they played was directed to another room so no one in ‘my’ room heard it. [The location of the dream vacillated: some times it was Brewed Awaking, sometimes the (now defunct) Ottawa Tavern and others it was the house in the Old West End that artist would gather once a month on a Wednesday.]

This prep reading seemed to go well in the first half, but when I came back to read again, I couldn’t figure out how to read. It was mostly I was reading poems I had not written and couldn’t figure out what the words were. Other things were going wrong to, the sound system wasn’t working. Then it was working, but only the audience could hear the music, I couldn’t. This is when I thought it was a love dream to my computer, since I had the thought right then that things always work when I am at home with my computer. It is also where I had made the little music piece I was going to use in the ‘big event.’

What might have fractured the two parts was I think I woke up and rolled over at this point.

The other thing that seemed to be going on was the preparation for the big reading. In that one I wanted it to be a big deal, so I was trying to make it an ‘event.’ What the event became was a reading that was going to be videotaped to be made into a documentary. During this reading I was going to have a hat, that other poets would put their names in and when I wanted to take a break I would draw a name out of the hat.

I thought this was a genius idea since I could take breaks when I wanted and that most poets only go to poet readings with a chance to read their poems. I always found it funny that on the poet signups there were mainly two types of people. Those who signed up first so they could read and leave and those who signed up last so they could believe they were the ‘featured poet’ (it also allowed them to get drunk before they read).

One of the aspects of the documentary, which only I and the crew knew, was I was going to try to seduce a woman during the night and needed the breaks to do so. I also had a beer or two during these breaks. Well that didn’t seem to go so well, which in the real world is fact. Then I kind of let it out that I was doing this, kind of part of the documentary, and the Brewed Awakening waitress started to get interested in me.

Then things seemed to pop back to my ‘practice reading’ and things were going bad and I woke up again.

Perhaps some of this has to do with the fact that when I am in Toledo, it all feels like a dream (which also might have to do with the fact that I sleep so much). I was thinking this when I was in Krogers a week ago. There was probably 500 people in there doing their xmas grocery shopping and what not and at some point I looked up — thinking how I don’t know any of the people — and it hit me: I have to know someone. Someone in that store either graduated high school with me or had been a customer at the various grocery stores I worked at. I also came to the conclusion that who ever that person was — both them and I had changed enough in 17 years (the time I have not lived in Toledo). Plus there are a lot of people I have not seen in 33 years (like people from my high school.)

I always like coming here because I don’t have to know anyone and usually don’t. In my hometown and school town, it would be a mistake to forget people’s names (hence the dream the other night about forgetting all the kids names). All that pressure is gone in Toledo, since I can assume I don’t know anyone.

Somewhat related. I was talking to my fwc and she was telling me that she was worried that she had cancer on her brain. That everyone is telling her to think positive, but ‘what if she had cancer on the brain? how could she think positive?’ So I made a joke — which is the best release when I am nervous. I told her not to worry about it, it’s not like she had a steel trap mind two years ago. I told her that the person who referred to no less than 100 people as ‘whoseebob’ years ago was already operating at a less that super genius level.

I was joking and she laughed — I hope she didn’t think about it afterwards and got mad at me. But I was also somewhat serious. I think about this from time to time. When I worry about forgetting names, it does make me nervous. On the other hand, sometimes I can’t remember a name, NOT because I am getting old, but that I was never a genius with names to begin with.

Just found out that the library is open regular hours, so I can go check e-mail and post this.

The Tigers

Gratitude (3)

Headed to the road

I am pretty sure I am going out with the drunks — leaving Monday night or Monday evening and travel through the night. Most of my gas stops along the way — places I am pretty sure are cheap gas — are open 24 hrs. My thinking is I would like to get home on the First and get settled in and have at least 12 hours at home before I am to start work — of course that is likely when I post this. So I am about 30 hours from departure. I should probably start packing.

It will give me a chance to play around on the Internet, which I won’t have until then. Also to make sure everything is working at my apartment. I am not even sure what kind of weather they have had there.

I might even put my old cellphone on ebay, if I can figure out how to do that. No need to keep it. I could keep it as a back up, but I am not sure that is a smart idea, considering I got the new phone because I didn’t think it was working very well with the broken antenna. I forget if I mentioned, but the good news is the new phone allows me to use a headset.

Leaving in the evening will allow me to make some cell calls from the road after 9 p.m. and not have to use up minutes. I have a funny assessment of the world. Often I get the feeling that sales clerks a little condescending, acting as if I am not smart enough to get things. Ironically while I am thinking quite similar things about them. Like when I bought the cellphone .

My nap schedule is all screwed up…darn if there isn’t enough time to nap. Ahh the glory of getting old: complaining about not sleeping a lot.

Dinner was really good (and expensive) last night. They had a weird chandelier in the foyer. It was an assembly of glasses — mostly ones htat had handles (like mugs) that hung from a frame. It kind of reminded me of something like a ‘contraption.’ I don’t know what I mean like that, maybe like a visual Rube Goldberg contraption.

We just gave one of my friend’s cats some I.V. fluids. I have not had much problem with the allergies while I have been here, but I feel kind of nasally since then. The movie is in two hours, hopefully when we go out I can grab a dose of fresh air.

I get when I get home I will do a lot of playing with animated graphics, like I just did for about 10 minutes. It is like how some people play sudoku, I do graphics. like of my new cellphone.

I think I am about to end and perhaps start another one tomorrow. I don’t know what is going on with the Library, I am pretty sure my friend works on Monday, but last Monday the library wasn’t open. Probably in book sense, New Year’s Eve is the same as Christmas Eve. I could start exercising again.

Gratitude (3)

perhaps the great what if

I don’t know what “perhaps the great what if” means, but it would be a good blog title. I always want to have a name for the posts that would make good blog themes. Like Will Smith could have a blog called: “between the hairs of Hitler’s mustache.” Well maybe not that one.

Breakfast devoured, I want to finish this, go to the library and then get picked up for some errands. Hope to get to the Toledo Art Museum. Was productive — sort of — yesterday. Got a phone, went to the library and had lunch with ‘the guys.’ I didn’t get a nap and was up late, I could use a nap right now.

I have been so bad as far as exercise. I been really unhealthy. I didn’t bring my cholesterol medication. And along with not exercising I haven’t been eating very healthy. Not just bad food, but also too much of it. At home I might eat cereal with no-fat milk, but here I have eaten lasagna for breakfast twice, eggs three times. I think I have had cheese at every meal. Maybe next time I come here I will bring a cooler and my own food.

The phone was a bit of an ordeal. There have been a couple times when I have felt like saying to service people: “you are waiting on ME, even if you think I am a jerk/dumb/grouchy, I am still the customer.” I asked if they could throw in a car charger and was told ‘no.’ I asked why and she said we just can’t. Then she offered to sell me one as part of the package. Then she offered to sell me memory for the phone — as part of a package. I wanted to say: “When I asked you to get this thrown in, your response should be: ‘No, we sell those things as add-ons to make money.’ ” Adding: “I know you think I am an idiot, but you are the idiot for not understanding that.”

It is reminiscent of school when you tell a kid something, like you can not bring drinks into the library or computer lab, even if it is closed, and they say: “that is stupid.” I would tend to say that 60 percent of the time when a kid says that, it is because they are ’stupid’ and don’t get it. about 30 percent of the time it is they don’t like the rule, but it is not stupid. About 10 percent of the time it is a stupid rule, but still a rule. Like a speed limit on a certain street, regardless if it is appropriate or not — that is the law/rule.

Dang cat has climbed on my shoulder. My friend lets this old cat do it all the time. I wouldn’t mind it, but for the claw in the neck and how hard it is to type. But she is purring and content, so I will finish up with her making me uncomfortable.

Actually if I am to get to the library, I need to be finished up.

Gratitude (3)

Up early

Two things are interesting about my sleeping here. One of how much — I am sleeping at least 10 hours a day and most of it at night (I slept 11 p.m. to 8:30 a.m. last night). Then I take naps, so maybe I am sleeping more than 11 hours. The second is that at 1o or 11 at night I am tired. In the normal course of my life I am hardly ever tired at 10 p.m. I could be dead tired at 4 p.m., but six hour later I am usually wide away and ready to surf the net.

I am hoping the sleep is going to make me productive. Certainly it hasn’t done so so far, but I would like to believe I am recharging my batteries. Today is the first day I woke up and my back doesn’t hurt, ironically the ball of my left foot does.

I dreamt that I didn’t remember anyone’s names at school — I called Bobo ’stick’ or maybe the phrase was ‘learning stick.’ It is hard for me to imagine Bobo as a learning anything.

Busy day — at least for a vacation day that I sleep almost half the day..

Working on a side project as I write this — actually a couple side projects. One I am trying to copy a DVD to the computer, in hopes that I can burn it to another DVD that will work on my friends dvd player. And I am on a constant hunt to solve a problem I am having. Every time I move from application to application to desktop everything that else disappears. I know somewhere there is a button “hide background” that I need to un-click, but I can’t find it. It makes it hard for those Mac programs that allow you to drag icons and pictures into them, since you can’t see the folders they are in, when the application you want to drag them to is open.

Considering yesterday my project was to update my address book (partially because I wanted all my phone numbers updated, incase I buy a new cellphone I will have the numbers available) and dragging icons to the the program was tough.

Some how the ‘hide all that is behind’ is causing other glitches, like not letting me to tab to some programs that are open.

when you add to the fact that I am trying to learn OmF and it is a glitchy beta version, I have a enough little glitches going on

Today is lunch day, and I want to accomplish a few things first, so I will need to get rolling. This might be the first post in a week that I have posted all that I wrote on the same day that it was written.

Gratitude (3)