chatter from the Library Monkey

She thinks you are mocking her

The softball team has three catchers. None of them can stay focused for more than three pitches. It’s not that our catchers are so bad, basically every player on our team is like that. I don’t know of very many who could tell me three things about the game at any one point. If I asked them how many outs there are, they might know, if I asked them what they should do if the ball comes to them, they would have to think about it and forget how many outs there are.

Consequently if the other team gets a runner on, I have to remind the team there is a chance they will steal. I try to do it in several different ways. Like I might tell the second baseman she is covering. Or I might tell the catcher that they have been stealing on the first pitch.

So the other team has a runner on first and third and the first base runner steals —- we have worked out a play where we fake a throw to second, then try to get the runner at third. It’s fairly effective. We have caught one runner at third and almost caught a couple others. In this situation a lot of things can happen.

When one these things happen, sometimes it will restart the situation, like if the batter fouls the ball or the runner doesn’t go, it is still first and third. So tonight I tell our catcher, lets do our special play. She looks at me and says: “What?” My assistant coach — girls dad — says: “I’ll tell her,” and he jumps up.

When he sits back down, he says: “she thinks you are mocking her when you yell the play to her.”

Now what makes this comment so bizarre to me is the fact that every time the ball rolls between her legs he sighs and then with a plaintive voice says: “We have to block those.” Or the girls will make the same mistake four the fourth time in a game and he gets more frustrated than I do.

Now in this situation he never gets to talk to her, because the umpire whispers to her what I said. The pitch comes, she fakes the throw and has the runner on third base hung up. Of course she throws the ball to third and the runner is almost home and scores. It was a play that should have worked magic, but we didn’t execute very well, no big deal, I am happy that it was close.

What should be said at that point is, “Sorry coach, but it was a good call.” And the time that we caught the runner on third, it should be simple: “Good call coach.”

What I don’t expect is: “he is mocking me.” I don’t expect after about 15 times a game the catchers don’t even notice the runner has stolen second on them for them to be surprised that I will mention we have a runner on first. One team they stole second on the first pitch for about 20 batters in a row and our catcher didn’t even flinch the 21st time it happened.

Without a doubt that is the annoying aspect of coaching the kids at my school. Not just the lack of respect, but lack of attachment to reality. I had a girl playing second base, so one of the other players who hasn’t played shortstop could. She says to me: “How come I never get to practice that position.” it wasn’t a question it was a clear compliant. The trouble with that comment — or even the mocking comment — is it is way too far from reality. At last practice, during batting practice, she was playing second. During all the practices I have told the girls to play attention, because if they ever play the position that I am explaining how to do it, they would need to know the positioning.

If anything, say: “I am sorry I wasn’t paying attention to you, even though you made a point of explaining it to me.”

I know I can be sarcastic and I can mock a little, but please… I don’t know what the assistant coach/dad thinks of my coaching. But I would hope he would think about how many times he has done exactly what I had done in the previous inning. Like I will tell the second baseman to play halfway between the first baseman and second base in the first inning and in the second, he will say the same thing.

Or a better example. Between innings — and after our second baseman ran over and covered second base before the pitcher had pitched the ball and the hitter hit the ball right where she was standing — I told her she needed to wait until the ball was past the batter. Three minutes later the other coach kneeled down in front of her and started to tell her the exact same thing. I told him I had already told her that — I should have just let him go over the exact same thing.

So many things he has said or done are exactly what I had said on a day when he wasn’t there. I tried to get him to coach next year, but he seems to think both his daughters will be playing varsity. Not seeing that happen and I am not seeing them not playing the bench if they do go to varsity. For one thing the girl who seems to think I mock her, has decided a bad batting stance is better than bad mechanics.

All of that said. I am a terrible coach. I don’t have the ability to shut girls down. We won today with eight players and I should have been playing the first half of the season with eight players

The Tigers have jumped to an early lead for Jeremy Bonderman. It is 5-1 in the fifth inning

Gratitude (3)

I can’t understand why anyone at my school does extracurricular

Top irony of the night h as to be from one of the kids that is both in the play and plays on the team. They were asking why tomorrow’s game was canceled and I said: “Because of dance practice.” The mocking girl rolls her eyes at me and says — what do you mean. “I mean…” and the girl from the play interrupts: “He means there is play practice.” I clarify and say, “No, we are canceling for dance practice, no the play.” Now what is funny is the girl who thinks it is for play practice doesn’t have her lines down and she is a couple days from performance. The other school really canceled because of some kind of dance practice.

My throat is raspy from yelling. We had two double plays and I would have to say 20 percent of the reason was my ability to say — “Throw to third base.”

Sheffield just smacked his second homerun of the game and it is now 10-1. We should be cruising now.

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